This is the end of it.

"I know words can't break bones; but they can definitely break a heart."

Written in my notebook: Jan. 28-(Thursday)
I'm no longer handing out my heart to anyone anymore. I've cried enough times to last me a lightspan; and I intend on living my life fully. My heart remains inside my sleeve; and I'm no longer going to sacrifice the bad times in replace of my own happiness. I've broken too many hearts, thinking that it would be the best for me; when I've only been hurting myself as well. The light in my heart has been shut off too many times; the number is no longer even countable. Love to me was always just a good idea, but never something I was ever able to hold onto without pushing them away. My guard was always being put down; and my trust was always given out, then soonly let go of.

Broken; I've been abandoned and walked out on too many times; but I've learned that when someone walks out, another person comes in to fill his/her place. But then it's just the same cycle over an over again, isn't it? "It's easy to erase someone from your life; it's harder to make them permanent."

I never took the time or chance to look at the other hand; and I'm sorry. I now know my mistakes led me to who and what I am today; I am not ashamed. I've lived and I've learned. "Love" to me is not a priority; "I'd rather be alone." I depend apon no one rather than myself.

In the process of love, you give up alot. Dedicate your heart and soul into one thing. All just to experience that one and only feeling of: Love. Because back then, love was all I wanted. All I wanted to concieve was a love that was perfect for me<3 Until I soon realized that it's "just a careless creation". Wasting your time away; Living each day a lie and moving along as if you're okay. Fooling yourself in something rather than the truth. "A heart throb in the beginning and a heartbreaker in the end."

My heart and love now remain in a box; locked with a key I have now swallowed. Never to be opened; my own box of promises. Kept away from getting hurt; and kept away from hurting others, also. I hold myself accountable for all of my own mistakes. I did it to myself. "Everything that's happened, I did it to myself." Never living through everything in order to reach that forever, we had always talked about reaching together. You told me you'd love me forever, but what about today? "I never let you prove your love for me. I let it all go."

I now realize the truth of it all. I let myself fall. War without end. It was more than just a battle. The pain, the sorrow, and everything in between I had once gone through. All just to feel "your love". "I now live and breathe here on my own."

You and I once hand counted all the stars we could see in the sky together. The memory is still engraved inside me; I love you, but I found my attachement unhealthy.

I depend apon no one rather than myself.
I put my heart away from it all. It now beats alone;

This is the end of it.

-KaylaKays Windham.